Helping Men Build Emotional Tolerance

Men process their thoughts and feelings differently than women. When men feel stressed, depressed, or anxious, they often default to acts of anger or aggression. Further, when you experience intense feelings of anger or aggression, you might believe that you are incapable of handling your emotions any differently. You might even feel controlled by such behaviors and feelings, and therefore not able to feel the full depth of your emotions.

While emotional distress is inevitable in life, you can learn how to build emotional tolerance, process your feelings, and get to the root of your affliction. Learning how to develop emotional tolerance will help keep negative energy and emotions from festering. Let’s look at how you can explore the range of your emotions and use them to help build emotional tolerance.

All Emotions Are Valuable

You might default to expressing how you feel through anger because using an alternative response might make you feel vulnerable or weak. However, all emotions are valuable and necessary for helping you process your stress, anxiety, depression, or distress. Building emotional tolerance requires thinking differently about your feelings than you have before. Therefore, learning to accept feelings without judgment should be the goal.

Rather than identifying feelings as “right” or “good” or “wrong” or “bad,” allow your feelings to be information. To do this requires dismissing the stereotypes about men and their emotions because everybody has the full capacity to feel a full range of emotions. Emotions help you understand yourself and allow you to experience life to the fullest. Remember, feelings arise from the meaning that you give to your thoughts and experiences. While some feelings might feel more comfortable, it is essential to accept all feelings.

Identify How You Are Feeling

Being with your feelings involves accurately recognizing your emotional state. Often, many mislabel their feelings and therefore manage them incorrectly. Thinking back to your upbringing could offer insight into why you respond to certain situations in certain ways today. For example, if crying was not tolerated in your household, this could be why you suppress emotions attached to sadness. Further, maybe you were told to “suck it up,” which is why you suppress or deny certain feelings today.

How you’re feeling might not coincide with what you’re expressing. For example, you might say that you’re stressed out rather than angry, or tired rather than sad. It is also essential to recognize the perception you may have developed about certain feelings. Give yourself permission to experience a full range of emotions. Experiencing feelings is different than expressing them.

Sit With Your Feelings

Practicing sitting with your feelings allows you to develop confidence in tolerating distress. Emotions will naturally rise and fall throughout the day. Start by taking periodic pauses in your day to sit with your feelings. Such practices align with mindfulness mediation, which allows you to experience your feelings as they happen. It is a great way to help you become aware of your thoughts and surroundings when you are experiencing certain emotions, therefore enabling you to identify why you’re having these feelings and thoughts.

You can practice sitting with your feelings when you are on break at work or designate a certain time each day to sit with your feelings. Use this time to choose a feeling to focus on, such as sadness. Try to locate where you feel it in your body. It is essential to try and feel the full depth of this emotion. During the process, you will not only allow yourself to experience the depth of certain feelings, but you will realize that they are only temporary. Try and practice sitting with your feelings each day. Begin with short sessions until you build up your tolerance and are able to spend more time exploring the range of your emotions. In addition to using mindfulness, you might also seek help from:

• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
• Journaling
• Guided Meditation
• Yoga
• Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT)

Emotional Expression 

Allowing yourself to be with your emotions could result in an outward release of this energy. Nobody needs to know; you can be in complete solitude while these feelings come out of you. Understand that such a release is not about problem-solving or “getting over it.” It is about acknowledging your feelings and letting them out, and this can feel profound and satisfying.

Give yourself permission to honor your feelings in a way that is authentic to you. The idea is to help you realize that you have the emotional depth to handle your stress, anxiety, frustration, or depression. Therefore, you will also realize that you are not limited to one response.

Building emotional resilience takes work and vulnerability; however, it is necessary to help you realize your entire range of emotions. At Choice House, we offer a secure and comfortable place for men to discover their emotional depth. Our supportive community will work with you to help identify your thoughts and behaviors and how to implement healthy ways to manage your feelings. We also work to help you on an individual level; therefore, treatment and therapy will move at your pace and be relevant to your needs. We believe that progress occurs when you are ready and capable of taking on new challenges in life. We gain our success when you attain the inspiration and confidence to enter each day and lead the life you deserve. If you are currently struggling and turning to negative habits to cope, then the time to get help is now. Find out more and call us today at (720) 577-4422.